Posting is sparse these days to the horizontal, face down position of the postee, but I came across a few motivational items this past week.
I am heavily motivated by individuals who endure great amounts of suffering and come out vertical, human, and praising God. I always say "If they can do THAT, I can do THIS."
John and I watched a Netflix special "Return with Honor." It is the wonderfully heroic story of Jeremiah Denton and other prisoners of war during Vietnam. UNBELIEVABLE what they endured. Jeremiah's story was chiseled on my heart after listening to him speak about life as a POW for 8 years, being tortured, and his INTENSE love of his faith. He never faltered, in fact, his faith only grew. I want to write more later regarding the relationship I found between his ardent zeal for human dignity as a POW and Motherhood or better said "A life chosen against the grain."
I read the book "When Hell was in Session" about 10 years ago and fell in love with his story and courage. I've given so many copies of this book out that if Amazon did a buyer report, I would solely be responsible for buying all the copies listed.
I also recommend this fabulous read by Fr. Gereon Goldmann titled "The Shadow of His Wings". So good.
What is my theme this evening, self? Well, I will not lie, being terribly sick is no fun. It makes me question my own humanity. I know spiritually the war being waged, the price being paid to bring another soul into the world. You do not get off easy with the evil one in regards to the begetting of human life. Sometimes, I just wish I could flex my spiritual muscles a little stronger and not lick my wounds some days. I would rather go through labor than be nauseous. It is not a matter of gratitude because we are always so grateful for our children. I just plain and simple am weak and hate to suffer in this form.
Reading these stories, watching these movies help me to know others have endured far worse crosses of physical pain much longer and continued on each day growing closer to Christ. That is the part I want to get. Growing closer to Christ not praying that the sickness will be lifted soon.