God's playground and ice skating at Holmes Lake

This past week the weather was bitterly cold so as the temperatures crept into the 30s we couldn't decide if we should go swimming or skating. Isn't perspective funny? It felt nice out today. John took the kids out to our favorite playground. The barren forest is an open field for exploring and imagining. Dominic asks almost everyday if we can go out to God's playground, as we call it. I read on another blog once that sometimes children have to be shown what is beautiful because often they won't choose it naturally. The blogger wrote mainly about encouraging children to be and do outdoors. Some of our kids could be outside all day without any coat or hat and we have others that have to be pushed out the door. Once they are all out, we can barely bring them in and within a few minutes they get lost in childhood play.

God's evening splendor

Holmes Lake frozen over

This pictures looks as if she is coming in with the tide instead of walking on the ice.

Happy Gaudete Sunday!  I made a big pot of Corn Chowder and we watched "The Nativity" with the older children. 

His 7th Anniversary and how I wish to truly see

Seven years ago today my father passed from his earthly life and began his eternal life.  He was diagnosed ten months previous with a nerve sheath tumor.  Three weeks before he died, he came into full communion with the Catholic Church.  At his glorious funeral, 13 priests were in attendance and the bishop of our diocese.  I know this was a nod at my saintly mother who prayed and sacrificed 33 years for his conversion.

Every time I look at this picture I see time not in the past, but how it is now with him in heaven.  He loved hunting.  I see his smiling eyes looking out.

 It is an odd phenomenon to feel so young yet to only realize that you have already hit once again one life's major milestones.  I was pregnant with Zellie when he died.  It is funny to me that my children will never know the man who gave me life.  His death was beautiful and peaceful.  We prayed the Divine Mercy chaplet moments after he had passed away.  Sometimes, I am not even sure I realize he really is gone "gone."  When we are home visiting in Kansas, I wait for his green truck to turn the corner of Mill Street at dinner time because that was how it was my whole life.

Dad in his OFFICE.  My second most prominent visual memory of him is him sitting at his desk and especially how he held a pen.  Memories are so strange.  I remember how he gripped his pens so tight.  He loved his job.  He loved finding families just the right home to live in.  John asked my father to marry me in this room also.  John tells the most beautiful story of when he drove down to Kansas to ask my father's permission.  He said my dad shook his hand and said "It's about time.  Come on in and let's talk."  After talking, John told me my dad welled up with tears and and said, "This is all so strange and it was just yesterday I held her in my arms (as he cupped his arms like holding a baby."  He also told John, "Lindsay will be a good wife to you.  She was such a good daughter and always listened to us."  Aren't those words worth gold?  This picture is also painful as it reminds me of one of my last times in his office sitting directly across from him.  He had just received word that his cancer was terminal and he had only a couple months left.  I sat looking at this "healthy" individual.  We were both crying for about 5 minute and then I looked up.  He said, "Honey, I thought I was going to live to be an old Geezer, but I guess not."  His whole concern was getting everything ready for my mom and little sisters.  He loved them fiercely. 

 My father was without shame when it came to the issue of human life.  He was Pro-Life to his inner core. Abortion was his hot button.  He witnessed ten lives being born in the delivery room with my mother.  He was famous at our local hospital for the smile that he exhibited after the arrival of his newest child.  Even as a child, I remember my own father's joy.  I wish I knew how to transfer video because we have on a CD my father seeing our Dominic for the first time. He had "the smile."  The one he saved specifically for the birth of a child.  If I close my eyes, I can see him now holding my firstborn nervously adjusting his Kansas Jayhawk hat because he was about to cry in front of a whole room full of people.  I can see him kissing Dominic's head and trying to soothe him as he started to cry just a bit.

Yesterday, we celebrated Our Lady of Guadalupe.  She is the patroness of the unborn.  We were sure that he was going to die on her feast, but alas God had chosen the next day which was the feast of St. Lucy.  St. Lucy is also important to our family as she is the patron of eye doctors.  Being that it is John's public vocation and the anniversary of my father's death, we celebrate St. Lucy extra special in our home.  We talked with the kids this evening about what a gift our vision is, but more importantly our spiritual vision and how we must wish "To See" correctly as hopefully God-willing my father and all that have gone before us do.

Today, I cannot help but think of Bartimaeus and his request in Mark 10:51 asking Our Lord "Rabbi, I wish to see."  I am Bartimaeus and I too want to see.  I am often very spiritually blinded especially by my fears.

My father was a graduate of Kansas University majoring in journalism.  He was a true wordsmith with a hysterically dry sense of humor.  His letters are a treasure to me.  I am so glad I kept each one.  Most of my siblings came to help our family move a couple weeks ago.  We were all gathered in the living room and I began reading his letters out loud.  What a joyous and tear-filled evening remembering him and laughing at his funny ways.  For some of my siblings, his death is so very raw.  My brother Dominic misses him so very much.  He was senior in high school when he passed so I know the hundreds of memories while living at home and see him deteriorate are so very painful for him to remember.  I was home visiting to witness their morning routine together once.  Big Dominic would physically carry my dad in his wheel chair down the steps each morning.  Dominic brought him so much joy.

I have many "favorite" letters, but this one is near the top.  He wrote to me during my college years and in the midst of boy struggles.  We had a tear-filled visit on the phone.  He encouraged me to just be and enjoy these quick college years and stop worrying.  I received this letter shortly thereafter:

I didn't enclose the first page because the picture wasn't readable, but he began as such:

11-2-95
Dear Lindsay,
How are you doing?  Tuna says "Hi"!  All is OK at this end.  You don't have to play B-ball 4 years.  Just take one year at a time.  I want you to play women's pro B-ball so it won't be 4 years, it will be more like 10-12 years.  After that, I will want you to "stay home."  Always remember that advice and tell your kids after I'm gone to: "Stay home!"  Nothing bad happens when you stay home.  But, have some fun too.  These are your free years so to speak.  We can't wait wait to see you Monday night at Barton.  It should be excite-a-quora.  I'm enclosing a little money for you and will send some to Luke too.  We have been selling some houses so I'm temporarily rich.  I think that you will be happier if you concentrate on a few things for now.  If things are to work out, they will but now is clearly not the time.  You need to see a little of the world while you have the chance.  See chart on back of page:

"Lindsay' Life"

0-Birth

12 years-    Child under care of loving parents.  Teen-quora-growing up phase.

18-19   rebellion teen-quora phase which is normal.  Child thinks parents are irrelevant.

19-25   college, fun, education, meet people. work, sports, carefree era of Lind-ed's life.

25-50    married, children, buy home, settle down, go into debt.  heavy responsibilities.

50-     see parents "croak"-getting older yourself.

50-70   golden years.  Your kids have kids.  hope for good health

70-75   husband croaks

80-     Hilltop. (Our local nursing home).

85-    Croak yourself.

So, you can see by this dramatic chart, you should have a long life, with your college years a very small part of the total picture.  Enjoy them.  Love, your Dad.

Love, Your Dad.

For the past three years, it has worked out perfectly to SEE a play in honor of St. Lucy and in memory of my father.  We just returned this evening from seeing Little Women at the Lincoln Community Playhouse.  They performed the Broadway version of the show and we were all entranced by the singing especially of Jo and Meg March.  If you live in the Lincoln area, you won't be disappointed.  I spent most of my time WATCHING our kids enjoy the show.  Rose sat on the edge of her seat the whole show and Vianney watched motionless.

We toured the art gallery.  Dominic found Mirkwood.

With Jo March

Bedient Pipe Organ Field Trip

We toured the Bedient Pipe Organ facility today with our homeschool group.  Bishop Conley wrote an article awhile back about how beauty will save our culture.  I couldn't help but think of his words and thoughts during this field trip.

This beauty was brought to them from Oregon where five students had bashed the pipes in with a hammer causing thousands of dollars worth of damage.  It took them three weeks alone to disassemble the organ to transport back to Nebraska.  They will have to individually replace each pipe one by one.

The man leading the tour loved his profession and truly had a love for organ making and music.

The pulls or "Stops" as they are called is were the term "Pulling out all the stops" comes from.  When all the stops are pulled out, the organ is playing its loudest and grandest.

12 weeks today!

Dominic and I decided this is were orcs were made for middle earth.

Both John and I were completely enamored by the painstaking beauty of time and love put into making these organs by hand and the old-fashioned way.  To be fair, I am not even sure that organs are made a "modern" way, but to see all the wood carving tools and instruments used to make each pipe was a sight for us to behold.
.

To Aunt Damaris from Damaris

We are waiting for you, Aunt Damaris. Denver is yearning for you. Come quickly. She really is too cute for words. She is wild and mean most days to her sisters, but loved desperately by all even though she pulls hair and demands to be loved and waited upon. She runs so fast that I will place bets she will compete in the Olympics. Her eyebrows speak a language all of their own. Come now.

Just back from her morning workout.

Looking for Aunt Damaris.

Moving along..Where we have been

We have been praying for almost two years for guidance in our home buying decision. I knew God would provide when He saw fit. We looked at several homes last summer when my sister lived with us, but didn't find the changes in the homes we were after. We looked at a few during the winter and a few this past summer again, but nothing. At this point, I pretty much didn't think about it past my morning prayer to St. Joseph asking his intercession to put it on John's heart if he saw it part of God's will for our lives.

Two days before we had Kapaun, our realtor called to say that she had found "the one." We viewed the home that evening and agreed that it was perfect for our family, BUT I was due with our eighth child in a couple days and the timing was really bad. I knew there was no way to put our home on the market and get it ready to show plus have a new baby and all those adjustments.

After numerous conversations and prayers, we agreed that we would take the selling of our home as the go-ahead to buy the new home. We agreed to show the home only in bundled showings so the likelihood of it selling was low, in my opinion. For about two weeks, we ended up showing the home almost everyday and after two weeks I was ready to be done. John did all the work to get the home ready.  He didn't want me doing anything as Kapaun was only days old, but it just got to be too much. We decided to slow the showings down to just Sundays. Our realtor agreed, but asked if she could show it one more time that night and THAT WAS THE COUPLE WHO BOUGHT IT.

Big decisions like this are hard for us, but have found confidence that the doors kept opening even when we were ready to be done.  We have brought five babies home to this house on Duxhall Court.  I have watched my little ones grow up in this home so of course the emotional strings are very long.  We are completely grateful for our new home and know that God will continue to make His will known. 

Kapaun of the day.  5 weeks old.

We closed on our new home November 22nd. A couple days later, I heard John shout, "Lindsay, Guess what?" He had found my remembrance calendar and discovered that November 22nd was the day my father came into the Catholic Church 3 weeks before his death. Coincidence, I think not? We asked his intercession many times as he was a realtor. I love God's little winks.