Friday, March 21, 2014

I am so grateful I held them after their naps.

I have been extremely reflective this week due to Dominic turning 12 years old. I feel like I am trying to grab time and it is just slipping through my hands like sand. With that said, I am so utterly grateful for the "small things" that more and more are becoming the BIG THINGS. I am so glad that I am here everyday and I've been here everyday. I am so glad that I was that person on the other end of their diaper changes. I am so glad that I was the person who opened their door each morning and got to see their rested night face smiling back at me. I am so glad I bathed them each morning and was given the grace to know that it is not a job to check off, but a unique and special child to prepare for their big day ahead of being 2 years old. That is a big job, you know. I will look back at these mornings with much satisfaction. I am so glad I was the privileged person to listen to their tales, dreams, desires, and requests.  The life of each of our children is so hopeful to them.  They are making friends, learning new discoveries, experiencing the realities of life each day.  I am so glad I take the time to dream their dreams with them even though I know most will not come true, but who really cares if a person's dreams ever do come true.  I think the fun part is dreaming about it not the actuality of the dream.
I love a good nap, but I do know what it is like to wake up from a nap. The first thirty minutes make me question if the world is a good place or not.  So, I am so utterly grateful I am there to hold them after their naps. I want so much for someone to hold me after my nap so I can only imagine what it is like to crawl up onto the lap of your mother and wake up.  I don't think I realized this with my older children.  Lillie always woke up screaming which bothered me.  She was still throwing up at that point in her life so I usually got her up and she was covered in throw up.  I wish so much I could replay that part of her and my life.  I wish I would have held her after her nap. Poor baby.  
I was preparing to make dinner this particular day when she woke up from her nap.  She just needed me to sit and hold her for a while.  I am glad that I just sat down and held her.  She only needed five minutes.  I looked up at the ingredients on the counter and felt the baby in my arms.  Who would hold her if I wasn't there?   This is what God made me for!  My mission was so clear that day. 
Damaris may not remember me sitting on the kitchen floor holding her, but I remember.  I remember the essence of my vocation (Meaning: to call) being fulfilled in this moment.  These events are forming ME.  Please don't ever underestimate the value of your very presence in the home.  I am a firm believer that parenting is for the parent.  We are the ones actually being changed and formed.  We are the ones being chiseled away at. 

17 comments:

  1. When Elliot woke up from his nap today, we were all outside. He came out with the sleep still on him and I held him with the sun beaming down on us. I didn't want it to end. It was heaven.

    ReplyDelete
  2. That is such a beautiful reflection, thanks for sharing

    ReplyDelete
  3. This kind of post is what makes yours my favorite place to go when I go online. This grace. I don't know how you see it so clearly from the trenches, but I'm really glad that you do, and then that you come here to share it with us.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Amen to what Sarah said! I wish I had a direct line to your heart so I could be constantly reminded by all of your lovely reflections! Thank you for sharing your life with them and passing on your wisdom to us.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I love all your reflections as well. Even the admission of missing out on this with your oldest daughter. I feel that I was the same way with my oldest 2 daughters. I wish I could have that time back and be more of the mom I am now when they were younger. But, I don't, so I do hold my current baby after her nap and enjoy each of them at the age that they are now!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Thank you for giving inspiration for a (sometimes) discouraged mother.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Thank you for this beautiful reflection! This mama needs a lot of daily chiseling, and your writing helps me to get back to it in the right frame of mind. Have a blessed weekend!

    ReplyDelete
  8. I`m witness of that. some times they just want to be held for 5 or 6 minutes, in order to simply recharge; if we dont hold them, they can cry for a solid half hour. although my kids go to school, i`m glad i`m always at home when they also are.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Oh this is lovely. I do love the idea of doing baths in the morning, because there is nothing as delightful as a freshly bathed babe, but do you also do evening baths? My children are so messy at the end of the day! How do you handle that in your home?

    ReplyDelete
  10. It's wonderful that someone was there to capture it on camera. There are a hundred sweet moments a day that probably go by, undocumented. She'll love to look at those pics one day and remember being held.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Thank for this reminder. I am in tears. I mostly do follow these practices, but this is a reminder not to feel resentful about them.

    ReplyDelete
  12. What a beautiful reflection, thank you for sharing this!

    ReplyDelete
  13. While a nap can be a break for two busy toddlers and the biggies to get some school done and time for mom to gather her thoughts, their wakeup still makes me excited at getting to sneek in a few cuddles before they are off and running again.

    ReplyDelete
  14. I feel like God directed me to this post. I needed to read it. God bless you!!!! ♥♥♥

    ReplyDelete