Kapaun's Birth Story

When I am old and gray, I will look back upon his birth and always say, "That was beautiful!" It was so beautiful that I have a hard time grasping that he really did arrive that way and he is really a HE.  Your birth story needs to back way up to when we first found out we were even expecting you.  It was January 14th.  I knew I would be due in late September which meant that in order not to have the pressure of homeschooling and a new baby, we would be schooling through the summer so the fall could be very light.  The kids were so very good about doing their school work all summer and we finished up everything as planned.  I am so grateful for their cheerful attitudes and fortitude to finish up. 

When I began to plan for your birth, I knew in my mind that I had certain things I wanted to attend before you were born in order to finish up our school year.  Two of those events were Vala's Pumpkin Patch and the Fatima play.  We received word that the annual Vala's trip we take every year fell on your due date September 21st.  The Fatima plan was scheduled a year later than its usual date and that was September 25th.  I wanted to go over due.  I told my doctor that after the Fatima play, I will be ready.  I really do think these two events played a major role in your incredibly fast labor and delivery. 

Looking back at my past deliveries, I think that I have gone in too early with my past babies.  At the first contractions I felt, we always have headed up to the hospital which I think was too early most times.  I think my body was just getting ready, but it really wasn't the real deal.  We usually end up at the hospital and I deliver many hours later and I usually have to push for some time.  With Damaris, I pushed for almost three hours.  THREE HOURS with my 7th child.  We thought that was crazy.  I was fully expecting something similar with your labor and delivery. 

I walked almost everyday of your pregnancy and even the morning you were born.  My route is a little under three miles and the morning you were born I was feeling contractions, BUT it was only Wednesday, September 18th and I wasn't going to have a baby for another week (in my mind).  To me, I wasn't in labor because it wasn't next Wednesday and I still had Vala's Pumpkin Patch and the Fatima play to attend.  Funny, but real for me.  These things were important to me as I do not like missing any event our kids are in and Vianney was going to be a sheep, Zellie was one of Mary's angels, Rose and Lillie were angel dancers, and Dominic was a pilgrim.  I HAD to see them especially Vianney.  Vala's is important as we do this every year and as I told my friend Renee, "I only have seven Vala's Pumpkin Patch trips left with Dominic, I don't want to miss one."
God had other plans.  I walked that morning and went to my regularly scheduled appointment at 9:30 AM.  I told him I was having early signs of labor and he checked me to find I was dilated to a five and 70% effaced with a very low baby.

It was John's late night to work.  I told Dr. McNeely that I wanted to make it until 7:30 that night because John had a full day of patients and really I was trying to make it until NEXT WEDNESDAY.  He smiled at me and said that I won't be making it until tonight being that this is my eighth baby and I am already this far along and my contractions were eight minutes apart.  He humored me and let me go home.  I drove the kids to art class at Holmes lake and started writing down contraction times.  Five minutes, one minute, two minutes, thirty seconds.  The intensity was also picking up.  I picked the kids up and couldn't say much to their teacher besides thank you.  Dominic ran into the bread store and picked up our favorite loaf of bread and sensing that I was pain, he went right upstairs and starting making everybody lunch.  I called John and told him we better head in.  Kristin came right over with her kids.  I was still talking to her when we left so I wasn't sure how things were going to play out.

We called Dr. McNeely and told him how close my contractions were (1 minute) and he sped over from his house.  He told me that he thought I was going to have the baby on the road.  I didn't think things were even that close, but he knew better.  We arrived at 1:30 and Dr. McNeely checked me and found that I was dilated to a seven.  He told me that I could walk the halls or get an epidural if I wanted.  The only thing I could remember at this point was how long it took for Damaris to come and I knew I didn't want to sit in the bed for 8-12 more hours so John and I decided to walk the halls.  I don't think I knew what was really happening.  He broke my water before we went strolling. 

We walked the loop once at St. Elizabeth's and I had two pretty strong contractions.  We walked the loop again and something changed dramatically.  I remember leaning against the wall and sweating really bad to a point I was dripping from my face and hands.  Dr. McNeely was in the hall and suggested I go into my room.  I walked into room 460 and leaned over the bed.  The contractions were right on top of each other and then I knelt down by the bed.  I felt the very familiar feeling of needing to push, but I was in denial as we had just arrived at the hospital.  This was all surreal to me because I am not one that goes fast, ever.  I didn't push, but by the next contraction I felt him being born.  I looked up from having my head face down in the bed and said, "The baby is coming."  It was just John, the nurse, John's mother, and myself in the room.  Everything after that was all blurry and hurried.  I heard the nurse say, "We are having a baby here!"  I really pushed once and he was born right there with me kneeling by the bed.  Dr. McNeely was right across the hall and missed it because he came so fast.  The nurse delivered him and handed him to John.  I didn't hear forever if the baby was a boy or a girl.  Dr. McNeely walked in with the best look of surprise.  I had just seen him in the hall and all of sudden the baby was born moments later in the room.  All of sudden, I heard John saying, "Lindsay, It's a BOY!  It's a BOY!"  He was crying and I was in disbelief because I kept saying "Really???"  over and over.  I stood up and Dr. McNeely wanted me to get in the bed and hold him on my skin.  I still never really had a chance to look at him yet and see for myself that it really was a boy. They were trying to help me in the bed and put Kapaun on me that it was all such a blur and so wonderful.  I couldn't believe it was over so quickly and really without little pain or discomfort.
Forty-Seven minutes later to be exact from our arrival at the hospital!!!!   47.

With each pregnancy I always have the desire to have a natural birth, but the fears take over most times and I get an epidural.  Dominic and Rose were born without medication.  The rest I had an epidural with some of them being great and some of them not working so well or wearing off.  I thought a lot during Kapaun's pregnancy about natural delivery.  I checked into a doula a couple times.  A couple of my friends tried Hypnobirthing and recommended I read a couple different books which I did.  My cousin loves the Bradley method so I did as much research as I could.  My other cousin loves having home births so some of her thoughts regarding childbirth affected how I handled his contractions.  I remembered a few tips from my friend Ellie that were so helpful in the early parts of his labor like rocking back and forth to take off the pressure and let the contractions happen...don't fight them.  I remembered her words and when I felt the urge to tense up, I would try to relax.  My sister's husband is one of sixteen children.  His mother offered several tips to her regarding early labor that I remembered and proved to be helpful.  With all those small tidbits put together and the grace of God, Kapaun truly had the most wonderful and memorable birth.  As John said, "Whatever you did this time, please do it next time."  I felt so good after he was born.  I didn't ever feel like I had a baby.  I hope to remember how I mentally handled each contraction and worked with them instead of against them.  God willing, we shall see with our next baby if this was just Kapaun's birth or where all these methods put together effective in his great natural delivery.

I know I've mentioned before, but Dr. McNeely is so wonderful in the delivery room.  I thought this picture was beautiful.  He loves babies.  He values each life he delivers. 

We were both so shocked by his speedy delivery that our cameras and video weren't really even ready.  We were really caught off guard.

What do I say about John's mother?  After my initial appointment that morning, she called and said, "Lindsay, I don't want to intrude but your contractions are really close and this is your eighth baby.  Do you want me to come over?"  She works as a nursery nurse at St. Elizabeth's, but even more than that she is one of the calmest people I know when situations get hairy.  I always tell her that if we were on the same sinking ship together, I would want to be right next to her because she keeps everybody calm.  She offered to meet us at the hospital and I told her I would much prefer her to be in the delivery room with me instead of with my kids as she keeps me calm and as an added bonus offers a great spiritual sense to any given situation.  I apologized in advance for anything I might say or that she might see as I had an intuition that my labor was going to be a natural delivery.  She walked the halls with me once and offered me different people or situations to offer my contractions for.  I was so grateful to her for this as I had told her don't let me waste this opportunity.  She was right there while I was on the floor and I remember looking up at her right before he was born and the pain was intense.  Her motherly face looked at me so kindly, but she always keeps her calm.  She stroked my arm and told me to keep going.  I am so glad she was there with us to see Kapaun be born into this world.  I know how much it means to John. 

She was able to do his first stats and apgar scores.  What a special moment for our family!

She gave Kapaun his first bath!

My favorite picture.

Boever Boy.  That took me forever to get acquainted with. 

John's parents with Kapaun.

My first chance at a look over.  My favorite first moments.  I look over every bit of them.  I smell them, rub their arms and legs, hold them near my neck, stare at their face in wonder, and hold them with a death grip and utter gratitude that God gave us another life. 

I love their little T-shirts and head fat.  I love their newly bathed smell and swollen birth eyes.  I love their backs and neck the most.  His back enchants me as I watched it and felt it move around for so long.  They are such wonders and masterpieces of art!  I love how just moments before they were inside me.  I love how you can almost still feel their warmth from the womb. 

For some reason, this song resonates in my soul especially now since his birth.  My favorite are the words at the end,

"I looked to Jesus, and I found
In Him my Star, my Sun;
And in that Light of Life I'll walk
Till traveling days are done."

I get choked up when I hear the words "traveling days are done." These times of welcoming each baby into the world are the jewels and pillars of our marriage.  John and I treasure each birth more and more and marvel at God's grandness more and more. We are all traveling and one day our traveling days will be done.  I know at the end we will both look back at the highlight film of our lives and be speechless about the births of each of our children.  Kapaun's birth certainly will stand out in my life as something that will forever leave me in awe and filled with gratitude.