I hate writing about it because I ALWAYS write about it with our newborns. All of our babies, with the exception of Rose, have come to us very grumpy, screamy, fussy, not settled AT ALL. With our past two children, I really came to understand how milk and soy in MY diet were affecting them as babies. With Kapaun, I have been strict to the drop regarding my dairy and soy intake. He seems no different at all. He was calm at first, but these past couple weeks we have had a very cranky baby all the time. So, now what? You would think I would know these things by now. I was so sure that being off these two major components would make a difference. If I could get by with eating AIR, I would try that, but I don't know if it would make a difference in him. I feel bad for the other kids, but they seem pretty unaware with his constant crying. Lillie will work with him which amazes me that she is so dedicated. I think mainly it is just really hard on the mama. My nerves are probably pretty jittery after listening to him fuss and cry all day. I told my friend Aubrey that I need to pray for endurance and acceptance. I tend to try to fix the situation instead of just accepting what God has asked.
With all that said, I am sure open to any thoughts from fellow readers regarding this topic. I have eliminated dairy and soy completely. I read labels like a champ and know all the hidden ingredient names that could be affecting him. Thank you kindly and I do apologize for being redundant on this issue.
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| He is my first baby to like being swaddled. |
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| Poor Baby Acne Face this past week. |
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| The morning chill required Denver to wear her bonnet. |
Lindsay! I feel for you! and we will be keeping you in our prayers. You know in a couple weeks he will be smiling at you. :) So until then, try white noise. Is your kitchen exhaust fan above the stove very loud? I would lay my Nona, #6, in her moses basket by that fan and she would fall asleep. She also loved the baby wearing, in a maya sling or moby wrap. The motion and being right next to me kept her calmer, and it was like being swaddled. They get so overtired towards the end of the day. My babies are always fussy until 6-12 weeks and then it gets better when they learn how to pass gas. I've tried elimination diets for some and not others if it didn't seem like it made a difference. Hang in there, mama!
ReplyDeleteNo answers for you, but oh, that sleepy pout!
ReplyDeleteI feel you! Our twins (now just 3 months old) have been our fussiest babies yet. I'm off dairy, and feel like I could have written your post! They are our first babies to like swaddling, but they looove it and still need a good Swaddle to fall asleep. It turned out that ours have silent reflux (so all the pain of reflux with no spitting up whatsoever). They are doing so much better now, on medication. Email me if you want to chat about it. Hang in there- we're all praying for and rooting for you!
ReplyDeleteI would encourage you to think about whether it could be silent reflux, too. Our daughter had this and it took us a year to figure it out. She was an extraordinarily fussy baby; sure wish we had known sooner!
DeleteYes! Silent Reflux! Please, please ask your doctor about this- using a simple, safe medication can make it seem like you have a brand new baby.
DeleteOur daughter was quite fussy (she is our third) and the nurse practitioner at our peds office said the latest research indicates probiotics play a role in colic. She recommended probiotic drops (which were solid under the BioGaia brand name, but I believe Gerber bought them out and now sells them.) I believe lactobacillus acidophilus was the important ingredient. I can't say we saw a huge difference with our baby but others swear by them. You might want to ask your ped about it!
ReplyDeleteYes! This made a huge difference for me, and I know several other moms whose babies completely took a 180• after starting the BabyGaia probiotics. Highly recommend trying this before meds ( ad even before trying an elimination diet). Good luck!
DeleteGod bless you, your dear family, and precious little Kapaun. Some things that can help with infant fussiness are simethicone drops (Mylicon is a brand name version, but stores usually have their own version) and Gripe Water (health food stores, amazon or vitacost.com). Ditto baby wearing. A baby swing, especially the Papasan version, can be helpful. Hot water bottle swaddled next to the tummy. Praying for sweet relief for Kapaun, and for all of you!
ReplyDeleteMy babies also fussed and cried a lot at this stage of their newborn days and yes it frayed my nerves too. Do you know about the gas massage you can do on their bellies? I learned it from one of Dr. Sears books but I'm sure it is online somewhere. You gently press and massage the direction of their digestive track to help push the gas through and out then do that little lift and bicycle motion with their legs. I can't even begin to express what a lifesaver this was in helping us get past the fussiness. *hugs* to you as well about the diet and hoping that by eliminating it will help him, your such a good Mommy. *hugs*
ReplyDeleteour boys all had reflux (not our daughter) and it is almost always positional. keeping baby upright after EACH feeding (for at least 20-30 min.) keeps gastric fluids mostly contained - you notice the child has pain (crying, spitting up, etc.) when you lay them down horizontal... it can take a few days for the esophagus to heal, however, so if you want to experiment to see if it could be reflux, then you have to try the upright-positioning for a few days and then decide if you think it's helping, or not. It it does seem to help, then you can try medication (we preferred the zantac efferdose.) made a huge difference for us (but those night feedings are tough!!!) it's usually out-grown by 4-5 months. (and then the baby has to re-learn how to fall asleep without being held upright!!) nothing else I tried worked, just begging for grace!
ReplyDeleteoh linny, my heart sank when i read your post......i am crying with you and kapaun. god must love you so much to give you so much suffering. you are one of god's favorites. i know this is a kiss from the cross. i love you.
ReplyDeleteI've never had to eliminate anything from my diet while nursing. The lactation consultant at the hospital I go to told me it is actually very rare to need to cut things out from your diet. She said just eat and drink everything in moderation and tank up on water.
ReplyDeleteI'm sure you are probably already doing this stuff, but these in particular have really helped our babies when fussy. I find the first three months are the hardest for keeping the baby calm. Using a pacifier (we use nuk), using little remedies gas drops are so helpful those first months (I found this to be the best for calming a crying baby), giving the baby a warm bath, skin to skin with mom, having the baby sleep on their stomach helps a lot, taking the baby for a ride in the car sometimes helps, wearing the baby in some kind of sling throughout the day, and one of these has really helped us http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=18165886&mr:referralID=45ac094e-34de-11e3-bae4-001b2166c2c0&cagpspn=plab_14843874&camp=PLAPPC-_-PID14843874&KPID=14843874. Different stores have them for better prices.
My children are the same way when it comes to the baby crying. They usually don't even notice, while I'm feeling overwhelmed about the crying. The kids love to take turns comforting him, hugging and kissing him, and giving him his pacifier. He is 4 months now.
I meant to say the fisher price rocker was really good for keeping the baby elevated while sleeping. Since spit-up and reflux seems to be such a common problem in newborns. The rocker has really helped my last two babies sleep better when they are congested or having an upset tummy.
DeleteI second the BioGaia suggestion or probiotics for infants (Genestra/Seroyal sells a good one and it is professional grade company). It could well be silent reflux or acid reflux but before you jump to medication I would suggest taking your baby to a chiropractor for some adjustments. If it really is bad reflux the chiro may not make a big difference but if it is straight colicky or fussy baby then you may well see a huge difference with adjustments. My husband is a chiropractor and he sees lots of infants in his practice. Chiropractic has made a huge difference for many babies I know. Usually when the baby gets better we see the Mom start to cry from her relief! Good luck.
ReplyDeleteBio via for certain. Just don't go off it for even though you may think it is not helping, it will get worse if you stop giving it to baby. With my twins only one needed it. I also resorted to a swing (side to side) ,white noise and upright bouncy chairs. All seemed to help. Worst was the 45 min car tide to Mass. He would scream himself to vomiting. I actually sat beside him and leaned over the car seat breastfeeding! Oh the things we do!
ReplyDeleteLots of suggestions! I'll just go with baby wearing (all mine were fussy unless I had them in the sling at all times), white noise (some babies have really immature nervous systems and need some help with that), and maybe eliminating anything acidic or strong in your diet? Tomatoes? Garlic?
ReplyDeleteHi Lindsay! You always are inspiring me on your blog... First time commenter. I have very similar babies. We, too, do raw milk and typically try to eat WAPF principled. That said, after the babies... Whew. I actually discovered that it's not so much what I am eating (well, it is), but that my body is having a hard time breaking down particular things I eat. Really fun for the hungry breastfeeding mama :). What I stick to for the first 6-9 months (I always "check" periodically by trying other foods) are meat, low sugar fruits (melon, berries), lots of bone broth, olive oil, and non-starchy veggies + sweet potatoes. It makes a HUGE difference, as in NO COLIC, no baby acne, greatly improved sleeping. It is hard. SO HARD! But for me, the peaceful baby (and peace within therefore) was worth it. I hope you don't have to go that far... But for one reason or another, dairy and starches and pretty much anything yummy were too much for me (and baby). Many prayers!! Analise
ReplyDeleteOh, I also give the baby a probiotic (and I tend to take one too); we use Baby Biotic (it's a bit pricey, but no dairy/other irritants), and have been very HAPPY with it. - Analise
ReplyDeleteOh I feel for you! our peds highly discouraged elimination as he said by the time we figure what needed eliminated, they would probably already be over it. in all actuality, I honestly believe it has a lot more to do with our own hormonal profile changes that are occuring and wreaking havoc on their bellies. Praying that it ceases soon!
ReplyDeleteI too have been told that elimination diets are not particularly helpful. Babies systems will adjust to what your eating. My second son who was very fussy also was breaking out into rashes and I was going crazy eliminating everything from my diet. It really did not seem to help. I would also recommend baby wearing...I have a boba wrap and it is fantastic. I also used oval it is an over the counter medicine that helps with gas bubbles similar to gripe water.
ReplyDeleteInteresting reading all the comments. So sorry for this hard time. It is heart breaking and exhausting. My only suggestion is to "wear" him as much as possible. I love my moby wrap, especially for squishy new babies if you want to borrow it.
ReplyDeletedealing with the same thing right now with number 2. MSPI diet, first week was great now fuss bucket all the time. She likes being swaddled but grunts after a short nap unless I'm laying down with her. Wearing her only works part of the time. If you find something that works, please do share!
ReplyDeleteHave you considered chiropractic care? My LO was extremely fussy until about 8 weeks of age when I finally had him adjusted. He had a few kinks in his neck/back from delivery. I cannot stresses ought how MUCH of an IMMEDIATE change I saw. It was night and day!
ReplyDeleteI also think probiotics help. #4 is the first baby we've used them on and they seem to help her poop and pass gas easier. She seemed awfully upset until we started doing those. I got them at milkworks. The other things that have helped - an actual swaddle blanket (the one with velcro that wraps all crazy, if you want to borrow ours let me know, we don't use it anymore), white noise (also first time we've used it, we have a machine that plugs into the wall), gas drops (target sells them), doTerra oils (my sister makes an awesome blend that I felt like it helped). We only have four but I think it's mostly the baby's disposition. We've had one sort of colic-y and one super colic-y and two sort of not colic-y and I don't know that we've done anything different.
ReplyDeleteI was actualky just thinking the other day that he looks like such an easy baby from the pics ... haha. Don't have much advice I can give though I guess except hang in there! :-)
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for capturing such beautiful moments of your family life and journaling your thoughts and creating such an inspirational blog to share with others. God is using you to strengthen the family bonds of many people! I am the mother of 7 children ages 8 months-17 years. ALL of them have been sensitive to what I ate throught my breastmilk. I learned to stay away from both dairy and peanuts/nuts and this made a huge difference in their fussiness and spitting up. I know you are staying away from dairy but didn't know abou the nuts. :) Number 7 has been my fussiest baby yet and it seems like I nursed him around the clock the first few months. Blessings to you and your precious family!
ReplyDeleteSara
I'm so sorry. There is nothing quite as exhausting as a fussy baby who responds to nothing! I second white noise and the rock n play sleeper...both have been wonderful for our babies.
ReplyDeleteHang in there! It is rough - our #3 was like this and I cut out dairy, soy, and gluten (and discovered that I felt amazing when not eating gluten!). It helped her some, but she still spit up my milk faster than I could make it. The pediatrician put her on zantac, which seemed to help the fussiness. Ultimately, she was always slow to gain weight, and she continued to spit up even after she started solids. We discovered around 10 months that she has a serious egg allergy (I would never have thought to cut out eggs in my diet!). We worked with a pediatric dietician who said that once you've ruled out serious structural stuff (pyloric stenosis, which you can diagnose via ultrasound - she didn't have that thank goodness!), it's almost always a food intolerance and/or allergy that leads to the spitting up, fussiness, and poor weight gain. If it doesn't resolve when the baby is older, you might want to consider allergy testing!
ReplyDeleteHang in there!!! Our son was so very colicky that I slept in the recliner with him for 3 months holding him upright so his reflux wouldn't upset him and he could sleep. He is now five and it is quite a bit more amusing than it was back then. I haven't read all the comments, so this could be a repeat, but have you tried wearing him? I wore Henry in a Ella-Roo wrap 3/4 of the day until his tummy grew out of the reflux. It was a life saver. Hope it gets better soon!
ReplyDeleteI just had my first baby and he was very cuddly...I like to say cuddly because I hate calling him fussy :) Our Doula recommend probiatics. We use the Soothes made by Gerber (They brought out the BioGaia brand.) We have seen a HUGE improvement and it's been under a week. We got them at the local pharmacy.
ReplyDeleteHave you had baby checked for lip and anterior or posterior tongue ties? Most pediatricians and lactation consultants aren't trained to recognize them, so they are often overlooked and misdiagnosed as colic/reflux. Even if the latch when nursing looks fine from the outside, baby may be getting extra air or not enough milk, which can result in fussing and crying. You may not have pain when nursing, and baby may be gaining weight still. I've been through it with two of my sons, and would be happy to look at pictures or show them to the specialist who helped my youngest son. It is easily diagnosed or ruled out.
ReplyDeletePoor little guy, and poor mommy! As a mommy of just 1, I don't feel qualified to give a mommy of 8 advice! I will say that I love your observation that you try to fix rather than just accept. I was that way regarding sleep from about 4 months to 10 months with Beckett. I think a lot of us moms are so busy trying to fix that we miss out on a lot of moments, even if they aren't the best moments. It goes so fast that they should all be cherished! I sure hope that this is a quickly passing phase, and you can enjoy plenty of serene moments with your little guy!
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