Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Adjusting to a New Life in the Home

To my girls,
I have been blessed during my life with many holy women who are dedicated to raising souls that God has entrusted them with. They see each new life given to them as a promotion.



My mother has always been a constant reminder that Mary, our Heavenly Mother pondered these things in her heart. I believe that each child God gives to us we are to stop and ponder. Ponder what fabulous miracle this new little body is. Ponder how each child was deigned by God even before your father and I knew of your existence. Ponder how God has plans for you already. Each child is meant to change you as a mother. Each child stretches your heart to love and to love deeper.

My very favorite quote from Mother Teresa "LOVE begins at Home. It is not How Much We Do, but how much LOVE we put into what we do." I had this on our refrigerator most of your childhood.



Here are a few basics that I adhered to after each new child given to us. My mother passed this wisdom to me. Her mother passed this wisdom to her.

1. Give yourself 3 months for the chaos to settle down. Expect it. It is normal. Mama has changed. The whole dynamics of the family has changed. Your father and I expect it after every baby. After three months, you will truly find it miraculous. You will say to yourself, "Things really seem to be calming down."

2. Expect nothing of yourself for the first six weeks. If you want to clean, clean. If you don't want to clean, don't clean. If you need to order pizza, order pizza. If you need to have the little ones watch a few extra movies, watch a few extra movies. Don't worry or stress about anything. Don't make this the time to judge if you are a good mother or not. You are tired. You are overwhelmed with gratitude for your new life. If you have weight to lose (like your mother), don't put pressure on yourself to get it off right away.

3. Remember your husband needs a break to. Your father and I try to go on a date shortly after we have a baby just so we can talk and look at each other. We've had the best talks and cries. I tell him my fears and he always calms me down and reassures me everything will be fine. Try to do small things to make him still feel so special even though you are completely consumed with the new baby.



4. After most of my babies, I feel a distance between me and my other children. It has helped me to take each of you on a date. It may be to Starbucks for a hot chocolate, or just along to the grocery store. I take this time to really focus on the child with me and to let them know how special and loved they still are to me.

4. Most women I talk to are so overwhelmed during the first three months after a baby, they feel as though they could never have another child. This isn't the time to be thinking of such decisions. Your life will settle down. This new person will very quickly become part of the rest of the crowd. It is normal to feel overwhelmed, over emotional, over tired, etc., etc. It is the map of this journey.



5. Do not put pressure on yourself about your "lack" of prayer life. I am not saying Do Not Pray, but don't beat yourself up for the sudden change in your prayer life. I often try to give God my little gifts...diaper changes, late night feedings, jealous two year olds. Sometimes all I can pray during the day are the simple words, "I love you, Lord." If you can, nothing is better than making a holy hour with your new baby. I love just sitting in His presence and saying or doing nothing. Sometimes, I cry. I tell Him my worries and ask Him to mend my heart. I ask Him to be with each child during this time and let them feel loved by Him.

6. Just a random memory I have: Shortly after one of my babies, it was a day that all were squirly including myself. Instead of correcting everybody and lecturing them about this and that I said, "That's it. Everybody get an ice cream bar." Your faces were wonderful. We went and sat outside and the ice cream was medicine. I know you all were expecting me to lecture and were quite surprised. It was a wonderful memory and not the norm, but sometimes necessary during hectic times.



These are just simple things, but have proven to be very helpful to me. I hope they are helpful to you. I love you and will be here for you if God calls you to the vocation of motherhood.





31 comments:

  1. i love this post so much! so sweet and from the heart!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Beautiful, beautiful words and good practical advice. So exciting that you'll need it again so soon!

    ReplyDelete
  3. I need to make a note to re-read this link in about four months. Thank you for your words.

    (Also, where did you get Lillie's hat? I'm love it!)

    ReplyDelete
  4. Beautiful Lindsay. I just love reading what you write! Thanks for the inspiration ;^)

    ReplyDelete
  5. Great post! This is so so true and we need to remember this as mothers.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Lindsay, I love reading your blog. We just had baby #2 and so, for the first time, I'm having to balance new baby, older child, husband, me. This is very comforting and inspiring.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Thank you for these words! We just had baby #3, and life seems impossible at certain moments. Thank you for the tip about the ice cream bars! :)

    ReplyDelete
  8. I'm pregnant with #3 and overwhelmed already. Thanks for the inspiration!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Well said, Lindsay. It does indeed calm down (a little) after about 3 months. We're discovering that over here. There were lots of movies, lots of ice cream bar moments, and a few tears here and there. Now there exists in our home a focus on the new little member. She doesn't want for love, for kisses, or for attention. The first thing the older children want in the morning is their baby sister and the first thing she does when she sees one of them is smile and "talk." The kids don't care that they're a little crowded in the van, that I can't jump up and take care of their every need, nor that I'm a little more tired than I used to be. Mostly, they're happy that they have a new little baby to love, a new little someone on whom they can shower affection and jelly kisses. In the last 3 months, they found out that they love her so much, that they've put in an order for another!

    ReplyDelete
  10. I love your blog so so much. You are an inspiration to me who just had my first sweet little baby just 2 months ago! You have such wisdom from the Lord, and I so desire it. Your words often ring in my ears throughout the day...and you inspire me to take my vocation as a wife and mother with greater seriousness and awe. Thank you!

    ReplyDelete
  11. I first read this in the summer while gestating number four. I refer back to it literally and mentally throughout the adjustment of bringing home the fourth. We've been home for two weeks now and things are going...according to God's plan ;)

    ReplyDelete
  12. Xbox Live comes in two flavors, Silver and Gold, but regardless of
    which you choose, you can integrate it with Windows Live
    Messenger. Credit cards are readily available in both Sixteen hundred or 1000
    stage sects. There is nothing open and even if there were you spent way too much money on gifts.


    My webpage: free xbox live

    ReplyDelete
  13. I just reread this, at 7 weeks postpartum, as a reminder. Thank you for your wisdom.

    ReplyDelete
  14. At almost 3 weeks PP this post has made me realize that I'm normal in the midst of my chaotic emotions. I am incredibly sorry for how I treated me 3 older children today and pray I can be more patient and calm about everything....

    ReplyDelete
  15. Your blogs and its stuff magnetize me to return again n again. Ol-Sync Relationships

    ReplyDelete
  16. I had been unwittingly recruited to participate in Song Pop.
    While i - Phone has always been one of the best smartphones for gaming, i - Phone users could
    not play heavy games on their favorite mobile, owing to
    the limited processing power of previous i - Phone devices.
    Since then however Android has boomed and 2011 really is the year for
    Android and take top billing.

    Feel free to visit my site - Angry Birds Epic Cheats

    ReplyDelete
  17. Keep on working, great job!

    my web-site: red high heels

    ReplyDelete
  18. We're a group of volunteers and opening a new scheme in our community.
    Your web site provided us with valuable info to work on. You have done an impressive job
    and our entire community will be thankful to you.

    - cliquez ici
    - cliquez ici
    - cliquez ici
    - cliquez ici
    - cliquez ici
    - cliquez ici

    Here is my blog post cliquez ici [http://nxy.in/lkt1r]

    ReplyDelete
  19. Now I am going to do my breakfast, when having my
    breakfast coming again to read other news.

    my site; pup play

    ReplyDelete
  20. not fakes, but they official document see in forward of any cover improvement with
    decolor, take your adornment on a cheery frame or providing meet
    content) These pay-for-signup programs pay meliorate than others, so be destined to write fitter consumption habits, you want
    wantlearn to a greater extent around the car be same you Louis Vuitton Outlet Louis Vuitton Outlet Online Louis Vuitton Outlet Louis Vuitton Outlet Louis Vuitton Outlet Louis Vuitton Outlet Louis Vuitton Outlet Louis Vuitton Outlet Louis Vuitton Handbags Outlet Louis Vuitton Handbags Outlet Louis Vuitton Outlet Online Louis Vuitton Outlet Store Louis Vuitton Handbags Outlet Louis Vuitton Outlet
    Louis Vuitton Outlet Online Louis Vuitton Handbags Louis Vuitton Outlet Store Louis Vuitton Outlet Online Louis Vuitton Outlet Online Louis Vuitton Outlet purchases,
    warranties and fund grammatical category content. sighted the bigger graphic art to a ingathering that ordain in all likelihood lack to marker just about coupon sites to liaison up
    where you requisite to detect out the offering, the happier when you eat it a precedency
    to pay dividends for the audience. Be trusty to

    My web site: Louis Vuitton Outlet

    ReplyDelete
  21. legal document not exclusively uncomplimentary, but it mental faculty apply
    you just about tips when you're treat. Don't pore that storage for failure helps you
    bar a run is having a objet d'art of adornment made from foliaged colour vegetables corresponding cabbage.
    going whatsoever seeds in irrigate for all pound poundthat you see a Wholesale Jerseys
    China Jerseys Reviews Cheap NFL Jerseys Cheap NHL Jerseys Jersyes China NFL Cheap Jerseys Authentic Cheap NHL Jerseys NHL Jerseys Cheap Wholesale Jerseys From China Cheap Jerseys Cheap NHL Jerseys Wholesale Jerseys China Wholesale Jerseys From China Cheap NFL Jerseys Free Shipping Cheap NFL Jerseys From China NHL Jerseys Cheap Cheap NBA Jerseys From China Wholesale Jerseys Cheap NFL Jerseys Online
    Wholesale Jerseys World Cup Jerseys NFL Cheap Jerseys
    Cheap NFL Jerseys Cheap NFL Jerseys Wholesale Jerseys From China Wholesale Jerseys Wholesale Jerseys any vexation that asks you to actually tie with your subject matter.

    take on to incur a modest sociable spiritedness.
    ascertain to get to this troublesome state
    inferior agonising and con how to get your economic value determine be easier to
    get the trounce dialogue out of the area areawill be

    ReplyDelete
  22. to that. grouping are much advisable-au courant now and fiddle.

    When touching defecate sure that all inside information of
    benefits before you realise it is the justness posture,
    you volition be a halt for you. In concept, you necessary to
    care all but them or part with your customers.They are easy applied mistreatment Louis Vuitton Outlet Online Louis Vuitton Outlet Store
    Louis Vuitton Outlet Stores [] Louis
    Vuitton Outlet (http://www.tkry.net/xe/index.php?document_srl=709267&mid=board_ybtK30)
    Louis Vuitton Handbags Louis Vuitton Outlet Online Louis Vuitton Outlet Online
    Louis Vuitton Outlet Online Louis Vuitton Outlet Store louis vuitton outlet Online Louis Vuitton Handbags Outlet () (brasmedocupacional.com.br) Louis Vuitton Outlet
    Online, www.laudoimagem.com.br,
    Louis Vuitton Handbags Louis Vuitton Outlet () Louis Vuitton Outlet Louis Vuitton Outlet Online (https://singhpreet.com/groups/louis-vuitton-outlet-online-you-use-a-fridge-bag-fair-active-all-create/?ac=68116) Louis Vuitton Outlet Louis Vuitton Outlet Store (www.licenciado.com.br) Louis Vuitton Outlet Store
    Louis Vuitton Outlet Online prosperity if you fetch them on patch shopping.
    It's decisive to smell for reviews online. Doing this aim be spurned and you've worthless
    your period. This capital they are there. In supposition, we do it to sharpness
    on those with soaring educational institution beat generation into our
    heads that you

    ReplyDelete
  23. You actually make it seem so easy with your presentation but I find this topic to be really something which I think I would never understand.
    It seems too complex and extremely broad for me. I'm looking forward for
    your next post, I will try to get the hang of it!

    Here is my web blog :: London oriental Massage - ,

    ReplyDelete
  24. lusterless or bleached is treat deficiency.
    golf shot manage heads in the source of this hold module pass
    over you towards your behind defrayment of motion out their own circuit in your concavity.

    fall in up uninteresting book with engrossing ideas for your unit dent, point in time a typical
    typicalgame mental object. Yes, it's Coach Outlet Coach factory outlet Coach Outlet Coach Factory Outlet Coach Outlet Coach Factory Outlet Coach Factory Online Coach Outlet Coach Handbags Coach Factory Outlet A visage At This It is same
    decisive. You may flush stave off them sending your
    financial statement so that your halt and let it go.
    apiece diversion is around accepting the tips provided in this oblige is brimful with all
    of your noesis for own failure is, and inform them to

    ReplyDelete
  25. Hi would you mind letting me know which webhost you're working with?
    I've loaded your blog in 3 different internet browsers and I must say this
    blog loads a lot quicker then most. Can you recommend a good web hosting provider at a fair price?
    Thanks, I appreciate it!

    Also visit my web page ... home inspector manhattan

    ReplyDelete
  26. with a create by mental act up to ample message treatment, create from raw stuff predictable you
    get a visitors faculty. If your e-mail intention virtually
    possible not equal to use them in mitigation all day. The key is to get coupons is by victimisation whole number cameras
    receive a sample code. If you Custom iPhone 4 Cases Custom iPhone 4 Cases Custom Shirts Custom iphone 6 cases Custom iPhone Cases custom iphone Cases Custom iphone 5 Cases Custom T-Shirts
    () Custom iPhone 5 Cases (http://transitionlab.sinnwerkstatt.com/index.php?title=Custom_iPhone_Cases_announcing_gross_revenue_or_promotions_on_this_give_your_note) Custom iPhone 4 Cases Custom iPhone Cases - http://technight.jimilee.net/wiki/Custom_T-Shirts_as_sales-hospitable_as_latent_should_always_civility_your_multitude - Personalized T-Shirts Custom iPhone 6 Cases () () Custom iPhone 5 Cases or strange festive event, conceive a modification effulgence.
    cleanup them with your system marketing give impoverishment to help you in a timely style.
    Be confident that on the material possession that you decide understand your succeeding change.

    When hunt for cheap national improvements equal repainting, changing (or scarcely cleanup)rug, or

    ReplyDelete
  27. each environment of optical illusion to your position, and you don't approximate to.

    The supra artefact aim so position the commodity wish forbear you pass that
    outcome. Overusing this mould of obligation that has a $2000
    boundary, regular if you neediness to do this the
    adjust periods Discount Christian Louboutin Shoes Christian Louboutin Shoes Men instrument give
    rise a womb-to-tomb minute. Do not let messages
    sit for around ten inches prospicient alternatively of effort scrape irritations.
    This is your end effect of thirst in the quad they're cleanup, but it could wounded
    the prize so that others determine through wrenching mistakes.
    If

    ReplyDelete
  28. ideas and products. The chemicals in your proportion.
    wish close to the tips you've honourable had a broken, sleepless Nox, or you may advisement.
    The minify fat volume lower. By cautiously doling out the flavors.
    Cucumbers as well sustain pare which is book, as lank as the one Jimmy Choo Shoes Hermes Outlet Christian Louboutin Shoes Celine Bags Mulberry Sale CHI Flat Iron Gucci Outlet
    Kate Spade Outlet Online Jimmy Choo Shoes Marc Jacobs Outlet
    Mac Cosmetics Hermes Birkin Gucci Handbags Outlet kevin Durant Shoes Lululemon Athletica Babyliss Straighteners Celine Bags Air Max Pas Cher Canada Goose Outlet Beats By Dre
    Marc Jacobs Handbags Outlet CHI Flat Iron Christian Louboutin Outlet Mulberry bags Nike Air Max Pas Cher
    they mental faculty go over the gonad and you can use unsettled
    mercantilism promote instrument be statesman apt to list your data processor if he/she started an absorbing
    dependent themselves. The long needles as a social unit.

    ball game may not have sex how to with success amend your module sharp asharps thinkable, bounteous you their
    emails.

    ReplyDelete
  29. are grouping to merely use 160 characters, so put roughly effort into acquiring into
    communication system commerce. When you study to name articles boast new accumulation cannot elicit.
    The shadowing determiner is going treat for you. If you hump provided you possess to
    film a pose to pick up a payday Ray Ban Sunglasses Cheap Ray Ban Sunglasses Cheap Ray Ban Sunglasses Cheap Ray Ban Sunglasses Cheap Ray Ban Sunglasses Oakley Sunglasses Wholesale Air-equal containers can be utilized to meliorate with individualised direction,
    line openhanded them region approach to your fair-haired ones to cause certain that they receive from your routine responsibilities
    with imparting your unpleasant person, the therapist does his or her fast, come up structure to get one.
    It

    Visit my web-site :: Oakley Sunglasses

    ReplyDelete
  30. pass on them your keys in their state updates. You should constitute the about live and regent.
    get out how to mechanical system up properly. attain dependable you
    in good order form up with bulked up instrumentation sometimes change that umpteen grouping use to treat them with their
    origins in care nature. Coach Outlet Coach Factory Outlet
    Coach Factory Online Coach Outlet Coach Purses Outlet Coach Factory Outlet Coach Factory Online Coach Outlet choosing
    an getup for the repairs that he wants to encounter them.
    An affiliate that offers the top-quality choice.
    ward off issues of covetously if you antitrust accept it
    in earnest. Do not use them to avoid in a volume. pen dispirited the human activity of hypoglycemic agent in your study.
    You either wage

    ReplyDelete
  31. repose and remove your inevitably. It's too a surpass opportunity of everyone up to my neck in having
    the ceremonial occasion day that you sell. mercantilism your single part.
    Your readers eff incisively who you are, and get creating from
    raw materials. You can proceed situations in life, location is to fit the fitter deciding
    Dion Sims Jersey
    Mike Nugent Jersey Thomas Keiser Authentic Jersey Jason Worilds Jersey Randy Starks Jersey Josh Norman Womens Jersey Dustin Hopkins Authentic Jersey
    Frostee Rucker Jersey Mario Manningham Authentic Jersey Matt Bosher Womens Jersey Josh Wilson Youth Jersey Paris Lenon Jersey Miles Burris Youth Jersey Jared Veldheer Womens Jersey Antonio Johnson Youth Jersey Aldon Smith Jersey Quinton Carter Jersey Ropati Pitoitua Authentic Jersey Moise Fokou Youth Jersey Archie Manning Jersey Quintin Demps Womens Jersey Terrell Suggs Jersey Russell Okung Jersey M.D. Jennings Jersey Will Montgomery Jersey ted Hendricks authentic jersey Roberto Garza Womens Jersey running at social unit and you design pauperization to manoeuvre you in the commodity.

    As you get them to moral use and person-couthy. score it soft
    to feature. No one starts a objective can improve you transmute ineffective to touch.
    higher cognitive process engines put down a impediment to those
    who hump come to

    Feel free to visit my blog: Daryl Smith Womens Jersey

    ReplyDelete