Wednesday, July 14, 2010


The holy priest who prepared John and I for marriage told John something that he took directly to heart and has lived since the moment we were married. Msgr. Nemec said to John very directly, "Your real job begins when you walk in that door at night. Your occupation is not where you should be putting most of your energy and time. Your family is number one on your list." Anybody who has been around John knows that he lives this.

Msgr. Nemec turned to me and said, "Your job is to elevate him in the eyes of your children. You must be his backup and his companion. You must show your children that their father is wonderful."
I think of this so often in regards to all the parenting issues and in reality I believe it really is quite simple. I think 97% of my work should be towards John and the rest will take care of itself. All the issues seem so trivial, if I am not loving their father. What good does it really do if they don't see me putting him first in our family? Whenever I get all worked up, I think "Follow John because he is following God." I want them to think that I think he could move a mountain. I believe God works through John in all parts of our marriage. It is the way marriage is ordered. Back in the day, the father was wise. My favorite scene in "It's a Wonderful Life" is when George didn't know what to do about an issue so he ran to the bank to ask his father. He looked towards this sign on the wall

I believe our job is to make our husbands into a superhero in the eyes of our children. We must never undermine his authority and position in the family. What Papa says, Mama says. We are to be the behind-the-scenes crew. I believe my role is to make John the star of the show. I say so often during the day to our children, "Let's ask Papa, he always knows the answer." or "We'll have Papa fix it, he can do anything." When I hear them repeat these words to each other, my heart is filled with gladness and joy that they think he can do anything. I try to refer to him on everything be it small or big. If they say, "Who bought these popsicles?" I will tell them, "Papa did, he was thinking of you." The power of the father is unfathomable. I pray that our children get their image of God through John's example of love, patience, gentleness, and understanding. I believe, we as their wives, have the ability to set them up for this role. The more I work at serving John, the more John is able to be the father God intended him to be. It is ordered as such.

I never allow them to correct, disrespect, sass, or dishonor him in anyway. If he speaks to them and they don't answer him, I try quickly to say to whichever child, "Papa is speaking to you, please go talk to him." John is the center of our day. We talk about when he is coming home, what we should surprise him with, and how many breaks he might have that day.
Nothing is more touching than seeing your husband loving their children especially their daughters. I believe above anything from education, dance lessons, friends, schools, sports, etc., the role of the father trumps all.

This past April, John took Lillie and Rose on a date to see the Moscow Ballet Company's production of "Sleeping Beauty." It turned into a wonderful affair with several other fathers who brought their daughters. I think our group totaled 28 people. They went out to eat first at Applebee's and then over to the ballet.

The girls still talk about this date frequently. Behind the scenes of all these wonderful men and daughters, are of course, the mothers who prepared everything so beautifully. We bathed them, did their hair, ironed their dresses, talked and talked about the event and how wonderful it was to be going with Papa and how Papa was so excited to be with them. I believe that makes God so happy.
It is such a privilege to know so many good men who take their role of fatherhood so seriously.

Because of these strong men, our daughters will have friends who were raised by strong fathers. I pray they keep each other on track.

What touched me most was the importance John put on this event. He took it very serious to make them feel special, loved, and nothing was more important than being with them that evening. He called me off and on and was truly delighting in being with them. They will never forget this.

Thank you, John for being so strong. Thank you for leading our family to heaven. Thank you for the time you give to us. I BELIEVE YOU ARE SUPERMAN. I watch your generosity and sacrifices and am constantly amazed. They have watched you pray. They have seen you serve. They have watched and experienced your joy. You are making the difference.


  1. VERY well written and what a tribute to John! But at the same time a wonderful tribute to your Dad & Mom as they planted the seed in you to be the loving and caring wife and mom that you are!

    You are truly blessed!

    Ruth Emerson

  2. beautiful. just beautiful. I feel lucky to know John and you. thanks for your holy example!

  3. Good thing Superman is married to Superwoman.

  4. Beautiful post. Such wise words and I couldn't agree more.
    That picture of John with the girls reminds me so much of my dad with his four oldest girls. Makes me smile!

  5. Well written, Lindsay. I love the way that the children run to Jeremy when he comes home at night. I'm sure it's the same when John gets home. Their little faces are lit up and they are so eager to greet their father. It's truly beautiful!

  6. I sent this post to my John it was so good...then the second time around I got distracted b/c the photos that didn't show the first time came to view and I was vainly thinking how good my half visible profile behind a stroller looked during the Corpus Christi procession-no less...I am grasping for any hope of looking how I used to look these days...ridiculous I know!