Posting is sparse these days to the horizontal, face down position of the postee, but I came across a few motivational items this past week.
I am heavily motivated by individuals who endure great amounts of suffering and come out vertical, human, and praising God. I always say "If they can do THAT, I can do THIS."
John and I watched a Netflix special "Return with Honor." It is the wonderfully heroic story of Jeremiah Denton and other prisoners of war during Vietnam. UNBELIEVABLE what they endured. Jeremiah's story was chiseled on my heart after listening to him speak about life as a POW for 8 years, being tortured, and his INTENSE love of his faith. He never faltered, in fact, his faith only grew. I want to write more later regarding the relationship I found between his ardent zeal for human dignity as a POW and Motherhood or better said "A life chosen against the grain."
I read the book "When Hell was in Session" about 10 years ago and fell in love with his story and courage. I've given so many copies of this book out that if Amazon did a buyer report, I would solely be responsible for buying all the copies listed.
I also recommend this fabulous read by Fr. Gereon Goldmann titled "The Shadow of His Wings". So good.
What is my theme this evening, self? Well, I will not lie, being terribly sick is no fun. It makes me question my own humanity. I know spiritually the war being waged, the price being paid to bring another soul into the world. You do not get off easy with the evil one in regards to the begetting of human life. Sometimes, I just wish I could flex my spiritual muscles a little stronger and not lick my wounds some days. I would rather go through labor than be nauseous. It is not a matter of gratitude because we are always so grateful for our children. I just plain and simple am weak and hate to suffer in this form.
Reading these stories, watching these movies help me to know others have endured far worse crosses of physical pain much longer and continued on each day growing closer to Christ. That is the part I want to get. Growing closer to Christ not praying that the sickness will be lifted soon.
Cannot imagine having nausea for more than one day...let alone months. Thanks for suffering for that little person in there. Praying for you!
ReplyDeleteBeautiful picture... God bless you!
ReplyDeleteI had nearly each thought you did...even the one about labor.
ReplyDeleteIt's so hard not being able to participate in life and do your "job" as a wife and mom. The mental games and spiritual warfare of feeling inept and sick, morning and night, are as bad as the actual physical sacrifice.
Prayers for you!
Lyndsay,
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing this. I thought when I joined the Catholic Church that it would be all daisies and sunshine. Ha!
Throwing my prayers into the hat as well,
Lucy
Lindsay! Lindsay! Lindsay! That's me cheering for you. Could you tell? Also, have I told you how much I admire you, today? ...:)
ReplyDeleteOh, Lindsay, I feel for you! I agree, feeling sick is so much more difficult than labor, especially when you have so many little ones who need you. I have a friend who is the mother of 8, and she had to be on bed rest for the last trimester of her 6th pregnancy. Her condition was very fragile. I remember asking her how she made it through, and she said that she would visualize Mary on the donkey, and say the words to herself, "Mary on the donkey, pray for me." I can't tell you how much that has helped me through the many deep "aches and pains" of pregnancy and motherhood. I will pray for you! Hang in there!
ReplyDeleteKeep it up! And if you like survivor stories have you read Unbroken yet?! Amazing!
ReplyDeleteIf you don't mind, I will ask for you to remember me in your suffering. I just found out I have thyroid cancer, after having had ovarian cancer in 2007. I have to have treatment at the end of September and that means I have to put off another pregnancy for a while. I am hoping that everything works out when my treatment is completed and that I may have more children. God's will be done. I will be offering up the suffering during my treatment for all the women out there struggling with infertility and sickness in pregnancy.
As much as I hate first trimester illness I can only hope that I get to experience it again.
In the meantime I will remember you in my prayers as you persevere in this suffering for another little soul.
i wish I had known about your blog this summer...I felt the same way...and yes I would rather go through labor too...
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