Thursday, August 15, 2013


Yesterday, I was picking up a few new titles from Barnes and Noble.  One of them being a copy of "Little Women."  The cashier mentioned to me that she had recently visited the home in Massachusetts.  She told me how tiny the home was and she wondered how the hoop skirts ever fit up the staircase.  My heart skipped a little bit at the thought of showing our girls this home.  I hope we can go together someday.  Honestly, I hope we can do about a billion things together someday.  It occurs to me on a daily basis how much I want to show them, tell them, and experience life's big and little pleasures with them.  Time just seems to slip from us way too fast.

Taking children anywhere presents its obvious challenges especially when I am largely pregnant.  I am often motivated by what we will see together and how I will be grateful for that time together.  I do mentally prepare myself for outings expecting lots of fits, several bathroom trips, ungrateful moments when I seem to be working so hard for them to have fun.  The rewards always trump the difficulties.  I love watching their faces watch things.  I love watching their hands look at things and my very favorite is when they find something and can't wait to show me.  I often see them mouth, "Mama" and then look around to find me to show me their new discovery.

 He thought it looked like it was from the Lord of the Rings.

Both John and I are acutely aware of our short time with them.  I recently had a conversation with a friend about the daily motherings.  She confided that she usually wakes up with a sense of dread for each day.  I tried to reassure her how normal her feelings were and of course, I too, even though I love my time with them feel that heavy weight most mornings.  The loneliness, the monotony, the decisions, the indecisions all present so many challenges each day.  I am able to see beyond that and have the foresight to know what I want 80 years from now.  With that, I am motivated to do the daily requirements.  I read yesterday that most of us have the WILL to win, but few of us have the WILL to PREPARE to win.  Each day, we stand at our post preparing ultimately for heaven. I am largely motivated by the time and effort we put into their spiritual formation and the forming of their consciences that take daily preparation and attention.

I want to have raised my own children.  I want to have been the one that was there day after day answering all of life's questions big and small.  I want to be the one they see each day and hope they find security that mom is at her post waiting to help them, laugh with them, pray for them.  I want to be the one who lays Damaris down each day for her nap and then comes to get her every afternoon. I want to be the one who takes them for a walk after lunch to stroll through the neighborhoods before nap time. I want to be the one who shows them about mothering and being a wife.  I hope to show them all of life's beauties each day be it an incredible museum, a beautiful sunset, how to cook an marvelous dinner to surprise John, how to pray, how to apologize and admit when I was wrong and to be the one who sits by their side when they aren't feeling well on the couch.  John and I often comment how well our own mothers took care of us when we were sick.   I want to show them how to use the phone or answer the door.  I was dropping Lillie off at an event and I watched her hold the door for a handicap child walking in with his walker.  I want to be the one who sees those things so I can tell her how very proud I am of her.  I love picking them up from events and arriving early just so I can watch them mingle with their friends only to delight at seeing that I've pulled up and hear, "Hi MOM!!!"

I have made myself sit through seemingly mundane events because I want to be there and experience life with them at its fullest.  I know I will be glad we took the time.  My mom said it perfectly yesterday, "You daily put their needs above your own.  What a beautiful gift you've given to them."


  1. Lindsay, your wisdom as a mother is always so beautiful to see. I identified with a lot of what you said here. Some mornings it is hard for me when I think of all the little mundane things I'll do and plan to do all through the day, but I always perk up and go at it with the remembrance that this day is only once, this year is only once, this time in their lives is only once. When it is gone I won't rememeber the Dulplos everywhere or the tantrums. I'll remember how sweet it was.
    I am very selfish with my kids, too, as far as wanting to see and do everything with them. As much as taking them to the store for groceries tired me out when I'm pregnant, last week I was envious of my husband because he went all alone with our 2 year old son. My husband told me about all the cute things Henry said and did on their trip and I was sad because I missed them.

  2. Lindsay, please do ever stop writing. I am a young new mom and I find it hard, actually its been impossible to find Catholic mom friends. I can't tell you how lonely I have been for over 3 years. I discovered your blog about 10 days ago and I started from your most recent post and a few minutes ago I just made it all the way back to your very first post. I read your entire blog! And I am not even a blog person. But your words were TRUTH that pierced my heart. I can't tell you how much your words, like this post, speak straight to my heart... there is that violent war for my soul going on between good and evil and your words deeplh convict me to do good, to choose virtue, to give it all to God and to love my husband and babies selflessly. I'm not saying this in exaggeration, you are the only Catholic mom friend I have who really is orthodox and sees life with heaven's perspective. I thank God for you and for this blog. Please keep it up and know that you are bringing God's love and encouravement to weary mothers across the world!

  3. This is so good, so true for me as well. I'm saving it, and I'm even sending it to my husband *who is working out of state right now* because it perfectly sums up my feelings on Mothering as well.
    I found you via Sarah at Amongst Lovely Things, and I'm so glad I did!

  4. Thank you for this very important reminder. I am coming off a week where my teens challenged me in a not so good way and my three youngest caught a cold all on the same day. It has ended with the death of my husband's aunt. It was a trying and hard week and this reminded me I am blessed. So very blessed. It is such a gift to be the one to be there for these precious souls.
    Thank you. I am enamoured by your blog. So glad I found you from 9 Pea's Mom!

  5. Beautifully written, Lindsay. My husband and I were talking about how we want to be the one's raising our kids, and it seems like a given, but we have a lot of friends who hire other people to do it! We have one little guy so far, and are praying we have more. I found your blog last week and just love it. What a precious mom you are, and what a blessing to your family. Your joy in sharing the little treasures of life reminds me of my mom. Thank you for bringing us on your journey!