Thursday, February 19, 2015

I left the NICU last night around 10:30.  We went over all dismissal instructions, videos, and literature.  We were planning on doing a carseat check when John arrived in the morning around 10:00 to take us home.

Around 5:00 A.M., I received a call from the NICU that I needed to get to the hospital now.  I don't have a car here with me so I called the front desk at the Rainbow House to see if they could take me.  I ran upstairs to be met at the door to the NICU by the charge nurse telling me, "Something is wrong.  Something is really wrong.  We have a different baby on our hands."  I walked into her room and she is grunting and retracting.  Five nurses were working on her and she had vomited green bile.  The charge nurse is listing off a series of possible causes and states that the surgery team think she is going septic.  Labs, cultures, and urine sample were ordered immediately.  Her pic line had just been taken out yesterday so they had to put a new one in which always breaks my heart.  They started antibiotics immediately. I picked her up and she was immedately quiet which was comforting for a moment to me.  The neonatology team came in to assess and they didn't like what they were seeing.  In an instant, thirty doctors filled her room and all were looking at her. The surgeon ordered an upper G.I. "stat".  They were concerned with a malrotation of her bowels and another much more serious condition that would have sent her right into surgery.  I believe I remember something about part of her intestine dying. 

The X-ray came back looking good that nothing was going on in the upper G.I., but the contrast has taken a very long time to go through her body indicating a kink in her intestines.  They have been doing an X-ray of her stomach every 1-1.5 hours to watch the progress.  I haven't been able to feed her since 5:00 AM and she won't be allowed to eat until tomorrow morning if her night goes well and no more vomiting.  Please pray that she may have a calm night.

After the 2:00 X-ray that showed a possible blockage and contrast still sitting in her intestines, John and I prayed the rosary.  After the rosary, we prayed Mother Teresa's favorite 9 Memorare novena.  I don't think I've ever said a prayer more fervently.  I prayed each word from the depths of my heart and asked Our Lady to please move her bowels.  As we finished the nineth prayer and said "AMEN" I am not kidding when I say she filled her pants at that exact moment.  I asked Fr. Edmond Campion and all the English martyrs to fix her bowels.  I asked Fr. Kapaun, Mother Teresa, and Matt Talbot.  I actually think I commanded them more. 

So, we don't get to go home today or probably anytime real soon.  I know it is a blessing that this didn't happen at home.  It is just really disappointing.  My heart has stopped one hundred times these past few days.  I am grasping for faith and hope.  I told John right now that I need to be offered hope.  Reality hurts a little too much right now.  I need someone to tell me that it is going to be alright.  I know from that small miracle of her bowels moving God is present.  I know much more deeper the words, "I cry to you, Oh Lord!" 

The surgeon still is concerned about two possible kinks and will watch the next few days with surgery being a possibility. I am begging God please no surgery. Please. Please remove the mass from her kidney also so that when we come next week they see NOTHING.  Please heal her bowel.  Please make our baby well.