I have a plethora of emotions that go through my head at any possible blog topic and I am struggling to write in good conscience right now. It is probably part scrupulosity and part an actual question that really needs to be examined in the blogging world. Anyone care to shed any light on the subject would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.
1. On Marriage:
Why would I write about marriage? Why would I write about and show pictures of John and I (especially in an intimate setting) for the public to see? Aren't those shared kisses and hugs between us only? Even if one has a beautiful marriage and you view a picture of another couple enjoying a movie night by the fire, isn't that replicating a scene that is not authentic? Fred and Jan go on date nights and have the time of their lives together. So should we. Why would I show us laughing and enjoying each other for the world to see? Yes, those times are a plenty, but why blog about our marriage goals, our hopes and dreams, our personal conversations, and especially all the compliments and heartfelt acts of love we show each other? For the majority of marital cases, women are the dreamers. Usually. They read something, see something, especially if it involves our children, and we MUST HAVE. Why? What is being accomplished? Why would I share all of John's wonderful traits and habits? Isn't telling HIM enough? Isn't that called bragging? Look what I have and you don't.
For the majority, most women write that THEIR MAN is so supportive of their dreams. What if he wasn't? What if his work was so consuming and by the end of the day, he was done. He had nothing left to support THE DREAM. Where does that leave you if my man supports my dreams, and your man doesn't have it in him to support yours? LEFT BEHIND.
What about those couples who are struggling and are dedicated to each other through the sacrament of marriage, but for one reason or another, they just don't get each other. I have a friend who attended a wonderful conference on motherhood, marriage, and life in general. She came away with so many ideas and was so eager to implement them into her home. As she presented the idea to her husband, he nicely said, "That is not me." She was crushed. Her dreams of a blissful family life were met with a resounding "NO!" So when my friend hears about other marriages or husbands who so excitedly embrace new ideas or whatnot, it really leaves her feeling LEFT BEHIND and thinking "My children will suffer because he won't lead the family rosary like so and so." What accountability do I have towards her and others on the internet? I am doing her NO favors by plastering John and his ways.
What about those women or men married to difficult to people due to broken childhood homes? I think it very rare in the current climate that two people enter marriage without a load of baggage in some form. How does my attempted show of perfection help her?
Do we need more examples of happy couples (I think Hollywood does a good job at pretending they are in love)? Love is tossed around so casually. Commitment, dedication, fortitude through trial, endurance, and most importantly SACRIFICIAL LOVE (Death to MY needs, my desires, my wants) through life's storms, not so much?
What about those people clinging on to dear life in their difficult marriage?
2. On Homeschooling:
I have friends who want to homeschool, but their husbands or wives do not feel called to homeschool. Where do my posts about our days leave them? I know I have had numerous conversations with dear friends and it makes them feel LEFT BEHIND. They read a small glimpse into our life and assume the fallacy of part to whole. They see one thing, one nature hike and therefore the whole must be that wonderful all the time. How am I helping her?
3. On Children:
How do I write about their accomplishments without making a struggling mother with the same-aged child feel deflated? If I post that our 3.5 year old is reading happily for hours on end at a 2nd grade level, who or what does that help? Mothers are fiercely competitive and most will immediately look at their child that age, and feel BEHIND. If I write about Dominic's academic achievements while a good friend confided that her son, who is Dominic's age, HATES school and actually confessed to them he has been addicted to pornography for 4 years now. How am I helping her and other mother's battling for the soul of their child?
On the flip, how do I write about my own childrens' faults without doing a disservice to their future selves? I can guess that they wouldn't want their sins or challenging temperaments plastered across the world wide web.
4. On Style:
I really don't understand style blogging and what it achieves. Doesn't it scream, "You are not skinny enough, not tan enough, wrong hair, wrong clothes, wrong shoes. You are not enough THE WAY YOU ARE." Am I all wrong on this? I see you tired, worn mother. I see your efforts and your attempts to be whole on the inside and outside. My beautiful friend just delivered her beautiful baby and sent a picture. She said, "Please excuse my swollen face and pajamas." You just had a c-section. You are beautiful. Look closely on the inside. You carried life within you for 9 months, throwing up most of them. You are about to give of yourself the rest of his life. You are enough the way you are. Am I way off on this one? I had a conversation a couple weeks ago and my friend was commenting on certain styles certain people wear and how it is just not in. I had a big question mark coming out of my head. Who says it's not in? Styles and fashion change with the wind. In a world that SCREAMS, "BE YOU!!!" Aren't clothing styles the epitome of NOT being you, but being what you are told is in? If I like a certain pair of jeans, than why can't I wear them instead of wondering if they are in or not. Don't get me wrong, I like style, but I like my style. I enjoy dressing our family with dignity with the main attention of clothing to be the faces of the wonderful children God has given to us. It is a rabbit trail, as it never ends and a world that cannot be kept up on.
5. On Pictures:
Now, we all know that we only post pictures of ourselves that we like how we look. Isn't that vanity? Aren't I searching for compliments and my funny caption to the picture really is a cop-out of being out-right vain? I have two sisters in college who have let me in on the game BIG TIME. It is a game. There usually is someone in mind when posting a picture of ourselves. Is that true, good, and beautiful? Have we made it about US, and not CHRIST by these games? Isn't that disordered and what accountability do I have before God?
6. On Suffering:
We all have many people in our lives suffering. I have several friends right now carrying massive crosses. HUGE. The biggest you can carry. They are barely holding on to life. Very sick children, infertility, husbands without jobs for months, sick parents, depression.
I have witnessed first hand, the community that rally together to pray for each other. My gratitude to those who prayed for my mother and Lourdes will only be measured in another lifetime. I am so utterly grateful. I see the fruits of grace and love.
It is easier to write about life's philosophies when life is well, but when the nails are being driven in, it hurts and not much makes sense.
I seriously would love and appreciate any comments regarding what blogging accomplishes and how it promotes Christ. I am not trying to be fiesty, I repeat, I am not trying to be fiesty. I really would love insight.
I start back at why I blogged in the first place. I wanted to keep record of their lives and the times we shared together.
Thank you for your kind comments and insights.
Thank you for your kind comments and insights.
So, why keep a public blog?