I am so grateful I held them after their naps.

I have been extremely reflective this week due to Dominic turning 12 years old. I feel like I am trying to grab time and it is just slipping through my hands like sand. With that said, I am so utterly grateful for the "small things" that more and more are becoming the BIG THINGS. I am so glad that I am here everyday and I've been here everyday. I am so glad that I was that person on the other end of their diaper changes. I am so glad that I was the person who opened their door each morning and got to see their rested night face smiling back at me. I am so glad I bathed them each morning and was given the grace to know that it is not a job to check off, but a unique and special child to prepare for their big day ahead of being 2 years old. That is a big job, you know. I will look back at these mornings with much satisfaction. I am so glad I was the privileged person to listen to their tales, dreams, desires, and requests.  The life of each of our children is so hopeful to them.  They are making friends, learning new discoveries, experiencing the realities of life each day.  I am so glad I take the time to dream their dreams with them even though I know most will not come true, but who really cares if a person's dreams ever do come true.  I think the fun part is dreaming about it not the actuality of the dream.

I love a good nap, but I do know what it is like to wake up from a nap. The first thirty minutes make me question if the world is a good place or not.  So, I am so utterly grateful I am there to hold them after their naps. I want so much for someone to hold me after my nap so I can only imagine what it is like to crawl up onto the lap of your mother and wake up.  I don't think I realized this with my older children.  Lillie always woke up screaming which bothered me.  She was still throwing up at that point in her life so I usually got her up and she was covered in throw up.  I wish so much I could replay that part of her and my life.  I wish I would have held her after her nap. Poor baby.  

I was preparing to make dinner this particular day when she woke up from her nap.  She just needed me to sit and hold her for a while.  I am glad that I just sat down and held her.  She only needed five minutes.  I looked up at the ingredients on the counter and felt the baby in my arms.  Who would hold her if I wasn't there?   This is what God made me for!  My mission was so clear that day. 

Damaris may not remember me sitting on the kitchen floor holding her, but I remember.  I remember the essence of my vocation (Meaning: to call) being fulfilled in this moment.  These events are forming ME.  Please don't ever underestimate the value of your very presence in the home.  I am a firm believer that parenting is for the parent.  We are the ones actually being changed and formed.  We are the ones being chiseled away at.