Saturday, October 10, 2015

The Beauty in Suffering

She always apologizes for her hair.  I see nothing but her beauty.  I see her sacrifices for souls.  I see her port in her right shoulder and her tri-line in the other shoulder.  I see her C-section scar and other scars that only a handful know about.  I truly think she couldn't be more beautiful than she is now.  I love her hair.  I love her heart more.  I love her beautiful and suffering eyes.

Last weekend, several of my siblings came to be with her as she received her second round of chemo.  She will have a PET scan Oct. 20th to show if the cancer is gone.  If it is gone, they will do one more round of chemo.  If it is not, they will finish chemo and begin radiation.

It is our privilege to sit beside her during this time.  I wish I could accompany her to every blood draw, every scan, every consult, but right now God did not want that.  She always tells us that our duties are at home and that makes her most happy.  She is such a person of resolve.  She sees God in EVERYONE.  I mean EVERYONE.  She listens to her doctors and accepts what they tell her to do-no questions.  She knows God has a plan for her. She suffers so well.

She is my dearest of friends.  I haved loved her my whole life.  She asked me why I was taking pictures of her.  I do want to remember this time with her, but more importantly I always take pictures of beautiful things I see.  I SEE nothing but beauty. 



Before getting sick, she worked out at CrossFit most days.  She continued her workouts even after being diagnosed.  She is so strong.  She set a goal to do 100 squats everyday no matter what.  She has kept them up even during chemo.  We went for a walk down the hall and did some stretches together.   She said it felt so good after laying in a bed for five days.  Isn't she amazing!

I told her I took a Pure Barre class so she wanted to try some of those moves and stretches. 


There is never a baby she doesn't want to hold or love.  I inherited my love of babies from her. 
She requested that evening to watch the new Cinderella movie.  It was so fun.  We got snacks and turned down the lights.  She loved it.
Chemo meds

Her last day was very difficult with nausea and headaches.  The nurses really worked with her to help make her comfortable.  Thank you, my mother, for suffering so well.  Thank you for loving us enough to offer your life for ours and those we love.  Thank you for blazing the trail.  She gave us many gifts and showed us much love, but right now she is doing her greatest work confined to a bed in a city that is not her home.  She is suffering so that her children and others may get to heaven.

John 15:13 "Greater love has no one than this, but to lay down his life for his friends."

22 comments :

  1. Amen. Amen. Amen. What else can be said? People like her bring true beauty and goodness to the world.

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  2. She is gorgeous. I see her beauty. And I love how her children love her. And that photo of Lourdes looking at her: be still my heart.

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  3. Beautiful. Thank you for sharing. We pray for her daily. Such an amazing example for all of us. God bless you all.

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  4. Breathtaking. I can't thank you enough for this window into her beautiful life.

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  5. I cried, Lindsay, reading this. I am an oncology nurse, and I know what you all are going through, to an extent. I became one because of my love for my grandmother, who passed at a young age from cancer. I cared for as she also suffered for her family. So much love and prayers, as I know your mother is SUCH A trooper and fighter for you all. God Bless her! <3

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  6. Your entire family is such a beautiful example!

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  7. Terrific writing - terrific woman - terrific family. Thanks for sharing.

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  8. My hero in every way, a living saint. And the way you write about her is just as beautiful as she is!

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  9. I am praying for your mom. I am praying for you all.

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  10. thinking of you all and sending courage, love, and prayers.

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  11. Beautifully written, Lindsay. Your mom is a humble saint. Thank you for sharing your adoring appreciation...
    I love you, Damaris.

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  12. Thank you for allowing us to take this spiritual journey with you. I am humbled by this. Blessings to you all. May the
    Peace of Christ be with all of you!

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  13. Your mother is amazing. She is suffering so well. Praying for good news on the 20th.

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  14. Simply amazing! Two beautiful women both with amazing qualities! Our prayers and our suffering will be raised up for your families.

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  15. Praying praying for her with you all. What a saintly woman.

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  16. I am praying for your mom. I went to a meeting where Robbie Dawkins spoke and many people prayed for others and they were healed. He emphasized commanding the pain/disease to leave the body in the name of Jesus. You should try it with your mom.It wouldn't hurt. Jesus gave us the authority over all spirits/sicknesses.

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  17. What beautiful pictures and words. I lived that journey with my mother and now unfortunately my kids are living it with me. This summer at age 39 I was diagnosed with triple negative breast cancer. I have 7 kids about the ages of your own. You're right--there is beauty in suffering. It is amazing though how much our burden has been lifted because so many are praying for us.

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  18. Thank you for sharing, All your family and Damaris are always in our thoughts and prayers. God bless all you on your daily journey.

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  19. Every parents loves there Child... I also love my child so much... My child is now only 4... when he was only 1 then I buy a ⒷⒶⒷⓎ ⓈⓌⒾⓃⒼ for him... He really loved it and always with it...

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  20. You are right, your mother is beautiful. Thank you for sharing this.

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